Saturday, June 24, 2006

There's something bout the way you looked at me...
made me think for a moment that maybe we were meant to be.......living our lives separately
and it's strange cause things change but not me wanting you...
....so desperately
-"So desperately" Michelle Branch

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de·sire n.

  1. A wish or longing.
  2. A request or petition.
  3. The object of longing: My greatest desire is to go back home.
  4. Sexual appetite; passion.

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I would love to start from the beginning... but that would be quite a formidable feat in its own right. The beginnings of that friendship were anything but under "normal" circumstances. I mean, one does have to take the reason for introductions into consideration. Since when is one girl trying to slide a guy off on to another girl the most pleasant of introductions...

Anyways, that was a year ago. The more important question is how did this happen? That i can't answer.

Recently we started talking back, through drama and mere coincidental meetings. Ok, i'm lying... I actually liked "wifey" status and timed it to make sure i'm heading for my law class around the time his class finished, but he doesn't need to know that right? Ofcourse, all this was safe... all fun and games with a friend.

Next thing, in the past couple months it just becomes something... huge. The friendship blossomed quickly into more than mere acquaintances... more than just friends even.

And now... desire comes into play....

I can't help myself sometimes... i have to mentally slap my wrist away from touching him sometimes... and slap my hand from calling him... and slap my brain from thinking about him...

I just watched a picture of the two of us hugging... I stared at it straight for like 5 minutes, and drifted off into that moment. I could've felt his arms around me... we almost look like we're clutching for dear life. Hmm... In all honestly, i like being held by him.

I've already said "screw it" and live in the moment... right now, i'm happy. While i may not leave this picture unscathed... i'm a tough girl... i'll heal my battle scars quickly ... Besides... I'll have the memory that i was happy, and i lived through happy moments to be played back as memories... for however long or short, that may very well be...

Won't you smile alot for me...? Just... smile...

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Here's the catch... he has a girlfriend. Practically engaged.

Yea... hmmm... but that doesn't stop me from... wanting him...
...so ... desperately

-I keep giving in... and i should know better... but there is something about the way you look at me... its strange how things change... but....

*sigh*

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