Not available in the way that matters....Truth, yeah. Is it wrong of me to enjoy having her around, to enjoy the long conversations, the silly names, the hugs, the dumb arguements on anything, the pictures, the smiles, the laughs anything and everything. The way I can go to her whenever, call her and know that she'd be there if she could and if she can't she'd find some way to lend me her support. She's fiesty, confident (don't tell her I said so) smart, curious and just plain out overflowing with positive energy. An aura that just wipes the bad from life and makes everything seem sweet for a while. She's got that effect on me, to make me smile or guilt trip me into feeling better. I love her straightforward attitude. Tell me like it is and she lets me have it! Its wild! And you'd think I was talking about my girlfriend... naw just my smuckums lol. A friend worth more than any friend could ever possibly be worth and yeah seems like I'm pretty fond of her maybe too much so, a little too comfortable around her, a little too attracted not that I'm complaining or anything. Its cool with me except that I'm not gonna be available to her in the way that matters, not for a while anyways and its unfair of me to have her here like that knowing that I can't give of myself wholly and solely cause I'm still back there. Don't know if I'll come out and I don't know if I want to get out but I like being happy. I like having fun and being free and uninhibited, me. I'm a free spirit and she can always manage to set that spirit free. Smuckums lol a sweet heart.

She's not mine and I'm not hers, not in so many words but what we have, the undefined, inexplicable something we have... It's I dunno. It just is. lol. So why don't we just hook up you ask? I've got a girl friend.